'Nadikar' failure made me fear people would stop trusting me: Jean Paul Lal

Director and actor Jean Paul Lal says he never dreamed of a career in cinema, despite being the son of filmmaker Lal. The director of 'Honey Bee', who is now earning praise for his performance as police officer Pavithran in Chidambaram's 'Balan', reveals that his childhood ambition was to become a pilot.

"I never wanted to be in films, not even once. I wanted to become a pilot. But when I realised I needed Mathematics and Physics, I gave up that dream in Class 10. Until then, all I wanted was to fly," Jean says in an interview with Manorama Online's Soul Side.

Jean entered the industry as an assistant director on his father Lal's 'In Harihar Nagar 2' before directing films such as 'Honey Bee' and 'Driving Licence'. While audiences have embraced his recent acting roles in 'Manjummel Boys' and 'Balan', he says acting was never part of the plan.

"Even after finishing 'Balan', I wasn't sure people would accept me. My only concern was to do my part well. If the film hadn't worked, nobody would have noticed this character. There are so many performances that go unnoticed because the film doesn't connect. I'm just fortunate this one did. Cinema is like football. One player alone can't win the match."

Reflecting on 'Honey Bee', which faced criticism for allegedly glorifying alcohol consumption, Jean says the film was a product of his thinking at the time.

"When I made 'Honey Bee', people who smoked cannabis, drank alcohol or even had beards were often seen as rowdies. I wanted to show they were ordinary youngsters. Back then, I felt there was nothing to be proud of, but nothing to be ashamed of either."

His perspective, however, has evolved.

"I don't feel guilty about making 'Honey Bee', but I wouldn't make the same film today. It would have a different perspective. It's not that drugs or alcohol shouldn't be shown on screen, but there has to be balance. If someone uses drugs, there should also be consequences."

He recalls how viewers once proudly told him they headed straight to a bar after watching the film.

"At the time, I felt proud hearing that. Today, I don't. That's not what we make films for. But the reality is that films with positive messages often don't work, while films dealing with morally questionable subjects attract attention, even if people watch only to criticise them."

Jean also opened up about the commercial failure of 'Nadikar', describing it as one of the most difficult moments of his career.

"You can't come into cinema expecting only success. Failure is part of the journey. Making a film is like raising a child. When people criticise it or when it's pulled out of theatres, it hurts."

More than the criticism, he says, the financial loss suffered by the producers continues to weigh on him.

"What pains me is knowing people lost money because they trusted me enough to invest in the film."

He believes 'Nadikar' could have changed the course of his career had it succeeded.
"If 'Nadikar' had worked, I could have made a film with practically any actor in India because it was backed by such a major production banner. I used to tell my friends, 'If this film flops, I don't know what will become of me.' That's how emotionally invested I am. When a film of that scale doesn't even survive a week in theatres, you begin to wonder whether people will ever trust you again. That's what hurts the most."