Anupama Parameswaran says she feared losing control of her life and career in past relationship

Anupama Parameswaran has revealed that she was the one who repeatedly postponed an engagement in a past relationship, as she gradually realised that something was deeply wrong. Speaking to Dhanya Varma, the actor said discussions about getting engaged had begun within just three months of the relationship, but she kept finding ways to delay it.

According to Anupama, those closest to her had sensed that the relationship was unhealthy much earlier. Her family, close friends and members of her staff had noticed changes in her behaviour and could see her becoming increasingly withdrawn.

As talks of an engagement continued, Anupama said she began to question the urgency behind it. She eventually felt that the pressure to formalise the relationship was linked to an attempt to make her quit acting and gain greater control over her life. She said she was living in constant fear at the time, often worrying about how her partner would react to something she said instead of feeling comfortable and secure in the relationship.

Realising that she did not want to go ahead with the engagement, Anupama deliberately kept postponing it. She would say that they needed more time, that it was not the right moment, or raise concerns about their age and future plans. When the subject of children came up, she even suggested that egg freezing could be an option, allowing them to wait longer. She said she used different reasons to keep delaying the engagement because she knew, by then, that the relationship was not based on love.

Anupama said that if she had not continued to resist the engagement, she would likely have married the person and eventually ended up getting divorced. Both families were aware of the relationship, and the couple had also spent time with each other's families. However, she said it was as the relationship became more serious and she began imagining a future with the person that the controlling behaviour became more apparent.

The interference, she said, eventually extended to her career. Anupama pointed to ‘Dragon’, one of the most successful films of her career, and questioned why she had been unable to promote it. She also said she had to let go of several projects and began facing direct interference in professional decisions that had once been entirely her own.

The experience left her emotionally exhausted, she said, to the point where she feared she might break down if someone simply asked her whether she was okay.