Intrusive cameras, broken decorum at Salim Kumar’s funeral: Where does the buck stop?

Grieving sons, a devastated wife. Scenes at Mollywood actor Salim Kumar’s family residence were like at any bereaved home, where a loved one was being mourned. What should have remained a quiet, sacred space filled with grief and remembrance instead descended into a distressing spectacle.

As family members fought back tears, scores of people carrying mobile phones pushed their way into the house, turning moments of profound personal loss into something resembling a public event. The intrusion left the family hurt and confused, with Salim Kumar’s eldest son, Chandu, losing his cool as the family's privacy was repeatedly breached.

This intrusion of a mourning family’s private space, especially when it is connected to a public figure, has turned the focus on online media and the decorum maintained by the public at funerals. On the same day, a man was seen clicking selfies with actor Dileep, while another man tried to garland Chief Minister V D Satheeshan as he made his entry into the Paravur Town Hall, where the mortal remains of Salim Kumar were kept for public viewing.

While many activists and celebrities, including producer Supriya Menon and director Lal Jose, condemned the growing trend of paparazzi at funerals, there have also been calls for stringent measures against online media, which, according to critics, exploit people’s deaths like ‘hungry vultures’.

Palakkad MP Ramesh Pisharody maintained that stricter regulations for unauthorised media coverage were urgently needed. 

“Can you imagine that even the Chief Minister had to intervene, asking people to make space for the grieving family? Regulations for online media are important, and measures need to be taken. Blaming all online media would be wrong, because there are journalists who handle such situations with the propriety required. But some clearly do not,” he said. 

During a press briefing. Chief Minister V D Satheesan also criticised the conduct of online media at the actor’s funeral, calling it ‘terrible’. Lal Jose went further, labeling such individuals as ‘hooligans’ and insisting that the government had a responsibility to curb such behavior.

Amal, whose grandmother was the social media personality Ratnamma (of Acha Mass fame), recounted his harrowing experience with online media during her grandmother’s funeral. 

“When we arrived, a few online media representatives asked if they could shoot the funeral. We refused. But later, I saw several reels online capturing our vulnerable moments. We didn’t want to be reminded of it. It was devastating,” Amal said, noting that the media’s presence and behaviour only intensified the family’s grief.

Journalist and social commentator Ravi Menon, however, argued that responsibility ultimately lies with the public. 

“Families can choose not to make funerals public, because unless people themselves understand the need for decency and decorum, no one else can enforce it. Paparazzi culture has always existed, during Princess Diana’s time and now in Kerala. Those capturing visuals should know where to draw the line. If they don’t, this will continue. There is a limit to what the police can do. The buck stops with the public,” he told Onmanorama.

He pointed out that not everyone at funerals of celebrities or public figures was a media person.  “Do you think everyone at Salim Kumar’s funeral holding a phone was from an online channel? Many were members of the public trying to capture images of someone whose mortal remains were there for homage. People are quick to blame online media, but society as a whole shares responsibility for such conduct. The lack of decorum at funerals is a recurring problem, seen during Sreenivasan’s death and now at Salim Kumar’s funeral," Menon added.  

Activists and celebrities also emphasised that while media rules and ethics were important, the public too must act with respect and restraint. Without awareness and empathy, privacy at funerals would continue to be violated, turning moments of grief into public spectacles, they stressed.