Cancer survivors struggle to handle sympathy: Questions to avoid

Latha is the wife of businessman Jimmichan. The family enjoyed a vibrant social circle and was quite popular at social gatherings. However, Latha was diagnosed with breast cancer at the beginning of her fifties. Latha was mentally shattered when she came to know about her disease. She wasn’t, however, worried about the severity of the disease or the treatment procedures. She was adamant that no one should see her with sympathetic eyes just because she fell ill. Latha took some time off from her friendship circles, saying that she wanted to focus on her children’s studies. 

She used to come for treatment wearing makeup and a luscious wig. Latha took treatment in a private room as she wished for privacy. After successfully completing the treatment, Latha began re-engaging with her former social circles. Five years passed, and Latha’s daughter’s marriage got fixed. Meanwhile, the doctor who had treated her belonged to her son-in-law’s family. 

Upon seeing Latha at the wedding function, the doctor approached her and spoke to her happily. But Latha was scared as she felt a thousand judgmental eyes staring at her from all directions. The doctor, who noticed droplets of sweat on her forehead and her frightened expression, quickly understood her predicament. However, people have already seen the doctor speaking with Latha. 

Just as she had feared, everyone began bombarding her with questions,
“How are you now? 
Are you still taking treatment?
You look alright now
You don’t look like you are a cancer patient
You look too beautiful for a cancer patient.”
People often have many misconceptions about how a cancer patient should look or behave. A patient is marked with the label of a ‘cancer survivor’ forever if he/she seeks treatment for the disease once. 

The society views them as patients at all times. Let me recall a story told by one of my friends. He was diagnosed with cancer ten years ago. The officials of the local self-government department have been after him, saying that he would get a cancer pension. Although he told them that he didn’t need the pension because he was no longer a patient, the officials were unwilling to leave him alone. People should be kind and mature while talking or mingling with someone who has sought treatment for cancer. Showing sympathy could be dangerous. Those who sympathise are simply announcing, ‘You are the patient, not me’. Cancer should be seen as a treatable disease, just like any other illness.