Kerala children's right to grow hair: Doctor explains how to understand the importance of responsibility along with freedom

A few days ago, the Kerala State Commission for Protection of Child Rights said that boys and children who do not identify with a particular gender have the freedom to grow their hair as per their preference. A few years ago, girls were also given the right to not double plait their hair compulsarily down the middle. Conversations surrounding child rights have grown increasingly significant in today's society. Protecting a child's individuality, freedom of expression, and personal identity is absolutely vital. However, we must also remember that a child is still in a crucial phase of psychological and social development. This reality demands a mature and balanced approach, especially concerning their physical appearance and personal choices. Dr Elsie Oommen, Consultant Psychiatrist at the Medical Trust Hospital, Kochi, explains.

The Child Rights' commission rightly pointed out that assessing a student's character or discipline based solely on their hair length is unfair, and that children's individuality must be respected. At the same time, we must recognise that schools need to establish reasonable regulations to ensure safety, hygiene, a healthy learning environment, and order. Therefore, we must view this issue through a lens that harmonises child rights with the practical requirements of school administrations.

A child's capacity for decision-making, self-control, and understanding the long-term consequences of their actions matures gradually over time. Consequently, while giving children their space, age-appropriate and context-specific boundaries remain indispensable. The word 'control' or 'restriction' is often viewed negatively, but not all boundaries are oppressive. Reasonable regulations are fundamental to shaping a child's character and nurturing their sense of accountability.

How do children learn discipline?
Children need to understand that they cannot always have things their own way. To live harmoniously within a family, a school, or a wider community, they must learn to respect the rights and feelings of those around them.

The importance of school guidelines
Rules such as arriving on time, wearing a uniform, behaving respectfully in class, respecting teachers and classmates, and adhering to hygiene standards all help instil self-discipline and responsibility. Instead of an attitude of 'I will do as I please', children need to understand that personal freedom is always accompanied by social responsibility.

Schools are micro-societies
Education is not confined to textbooks. It is within the school environment that children first learn how to function as part of a larger community. Universal, clear, and fair rules instil a sense of equality and teach children to respect the rule of law. It helps them realise that personal preferences cannot always override collective rules—a crucial lesson for adulthood. This foundation is essential for the roles and responsibilities they will eventually take on in their families, workplaces, and society.

Understanding the difference in boundaries
However, we must differentiate between constructive boundaries and arbitrary restrictions. A rule must always serve a clear, logical purpose. We need to evaluate whether a guideline truly benefits the child's safety, health, learning environment, or social integration. These rules must be explained to children in a constructive way rather than being imposed as a show of absolute authority. Rules that humiliate, discriminate, or unnecessarily suppress a child's unique personality should be avoided. Effective discipline is never built on fear; it comes from defining clear boundaries and explaining the reasons behind them.

The debate over hair length
The current debate regarding the length of boys' hair should be viewed from this wider perspective. A child certainly has the right to express their identity. Yet, a school also has a duty to maintain grooming standards that support a focused learning environment. Framing this debate purely as 'student freedom versus school control' is a simplistic view. The real questions we should ask are: Does this specific rule serve a practical purpose? Is it fair and universally applicable? Does it actually improve safety, hygiene, or classroom focus? Does it unnecessarily infringe on the child's basic rights? The answers to these questions must determine the legitimacy of school rules.

Rights come with responsibilities
There is no doubt that children's rights must be protected, but rights do not mean a complete exemption from duties. Empowering a child does not mean removing all structure, just as discipline does not mean erasing their individuality. When a child hears 'no', they must learn to understand the reason, manage their impatience, and respect the boundaries of others. Learning that we cannot get everything instantly and that we cannot always enforce our wishes in every situation is an invaluable life skill.

Balancing freedom and boundaries
In child-rearing, freedom and discipline are not opposing forces but complementary ones:
• Freedom allows a child's unique personality to flourish.
• Boundaries nurture a sense of responsibility.
• Rules foster social awareness and empathy.
• Discipline builds crucial self-control.

Ultimately, the discussion should not be about whether we need boundaries, but rather what kind of boundaries best serve a child's well-being. While we must encourage their freedom, we must also guide them with healthy, reasonable limits that prepare them for the real world. A well-rounded child is nurtured not by absolute freedom alone, but by a combination of love, clear boundaries, and mutual respect.