Should the elderly spend their lives in desperation after children fly away?

“Our son is settled in the US, and our daughter and family are in Australia. We live alone in the house with nothing to do at all.” This is a typical conversation that you might hear in a gathering of elderly people. These words reflect their helplessness, that they are trapped in a deserted house.

No need for guilt
The fact that your children need to move abroad for their career advancement or to achieve their goals should be accepted with an open mind. If you are upset that your children left you behind despite giving them love and care, then it is time to relax and be kind to yourself and your children. Try to live complacently, believing that you have given wings to your children, allowing them to fly and achieve their dreams.

There is no need to think that your life has lost its meaning simply because your children no longer live with you. It would be better to find new ways to enjoy and celebrate your life. Meanwhile, couples could see this as an opportunity to spend more time together. You could enjoy a television show together or help each other with household chores. Try to develop a positive attitude that this kind of life too can be happy. Besides, video calls are a great way to stay in touch with your children and keep the bond stronger.

Finding new aims
People who have spent a significant portion of their life taking care of their children or grandchildren will be devastated when the latter move abroad or relocate to a different place. Elderly people might then think they have lost their life’s purpose. You may have complained that you hardly get any time to do the things that you love when your children and grandchildren are around. So, consider this the best time to invest your time and energy in the things that you love or wish to do.

Strong social relationships will help you overcome the tendency to become a recluse. Being a member of groups of elderly people and various organisations could be helpful. Your life would be happier if you believe that your children have left your home to build a good life for themselves and that it is possible for you to find joy even if they are not near you.