Actress Sanusha, in a recent video shared on her Youtube channel had opened up about battling depressing during the lockdown days. She revealed that she had sought medical assistance to overcome her bouts of depression. In an interview to Manorama Online, the young actress said that she had posted the video, hoping that her words would inspire those who have gone through a similar state of mind.
“The initial days of lockdown were really difficult for me. I wasn’t having the greatest time in my professional and personal life. I had no idea how to communicate or express the gloominess or the scary silence that was brewing inside me. However, those experiences have actually made me grow. I had gone through depression and panic attacks. I didn’t feel like talking to anyone. Moreover, I wasn’t interested in doing anything. I was even worried whether I would end up doing something wrong. Suicidal thoughts kept bothering me,” admits Sanusha.
Sanusha says she had tried to run away from her problems in the beginning. She called one of her close friends in Wayanad and drove there to spend some time. She notes that the pictures, in which she is seen laughing and having a great time, were in fact taken when she was struggling inside.
“I was scared to tell anything at my home. Most people still think that mentally unstable people are the ones who consult a psychologist or a psychiatrist. They think it as a taboo. As I was worried about all these, I sought the help of a doctor without informing my family. I began taking medicines as well. I spoke to my family only when I thought that it was alright to let them know. As I had expected, there were some initial chidings. They said I was alright and that they were there for me. I know they are there; but sometimes we just cannot say anything to anyone,” says Sanusha.
The actress says she had shared her problems with her younger brother. She opened up about her depression and how she battled suicidal tendencies to her brother. Sanusha admits he had been a great pillar of support for her. She says she had shunned the suicidal thoughts as she felt there would be no one for her brother if she had gone. She then tried everything possible to come back to her normal life. “I began practicing dance and yoga. I traveled a lot by strictly following the Covid 19 protocols. I spent time in serene locations where I interacted with the woods and the mountains. I had shared some amazing moments from these trips on my social media as well. Everyone thought I was happy. So, no one cared to ask how I was feeling. I was greatly disturbed by the news of actor Sushant’s death. I used to imagine that I too was like him, depressed and unable to talk to anyone,” Sanusha opens up.
Now, Sanusha has stopped taking medicines and is slowly recovering. Though three months during the lockdown period was very difficult for her, she has begun loving and appreciating her life more. Sanusha says she feel proud about herself for not giving up.
“All I have to say is that you shouldn’t hesitate to seek help. Lots of people are going through similar situations. Sometimes, we could open up to a doctor, who is a stranger, more than we could do with our loved ones. Everyone is there for you and I really mean it,” concludes Sanusha.