Got pregnant at a time when I didn’t know what to do with my life: Amala Paul

Actor Amala Paul has opened up about a deeply personal phase in her life; her pregnancy, the grief of losing her father, and the emotional toll of the pandemic. In a candid conversation with JFW Binge, Amala spoke about how becoming a mother gave her clarity and helped her reconnect with herself.

“I got pregnant at a time when I didn’t know what to do with my life,” she said. “But that experience gave me a sense of direction and made me a better person.” Amala shared that the arrival of her son, Ilai, shifted her priorities and helped her discover the true meaning of patience. “Everything became about that little life inside me. I didn’t know where the ‘me’ went—but I liked it.”

Amala revealed that she and her partner, Jagat, had been together for just a few months when she found out she was pregnant. “Marriage came later,” she said, describing the journey as unexpected but grounding. Calling Jagat “the biggest blessing” in her life, she recounted how he lovingly performed a traditional ritual of burying the placenta after the birth—a gesture she says symbolised emotional healing and new beginnings.

The actor also spoke about the difficult period of 2020–21, when she lost her father and struggled with the emotional fallout of the Covid pandemic. At the time, she was shooting a Hindi series where she played a character with schizophrenia—an eerie parallel to her own mental state. “I was forgetting names of familiar people. The stress was that intense,” she recalled. Her therapist even pointed out similarities to borderline schizophrenia.
What helped her through that phase, Amala says, was solo travel. “I went to Bali, Thailand, Sri Lanka, London—just by myself. That’s when I realised the importance of being connected to your own self. You can’t rely on others to rescue you. You have to find your own way.”