How domestic trauma and hunger shatter teenage minds: Doctor explains

It is deeply painful to witness children who are orphaned or subjected to brutal cruelty at an early age. For any empathetic observer, the urge to rescue them, to bring them into the safety of one’s own home, is instinctive. Yet, so often, society remains a silent, guilt-ridden bystander. This harsh reality hit home when news broke of an eight-year-old boy in Thodupuzha who tragically died after a brutal beating by his stepfather. The most devastating aspect of that tragedy was the collective failure of his family, teachers, and neighbours, who failed to spot his suffering or intervene in time.

It was such a heartbreaking incident that inspired her research, focussed on child welfare and protection, says Dr Achu Alex, Counselling Psychologist based in Kochi. She explains how domestic trauma can affect teenage minds and how to help such youngsters.

Long-term emotional neglect
As a school counsellor, I encountered a teenage girl whose story would move anyone to tears. She was initially referred to me by her school principal due to a sharp decline in her academic performance and her association with peers suspected of substance abuse. On the surface, she seemed like a typical rebellious teenager. However, digging deeper revealed that her troubled behaviour was merely a cry for help, masking a fractured family life and severe, long-term emotional neglect.

The scars of domestic warfare
The bitter separation of her parents and the constant, violent arguments at home had left this young girl mentally shattered. Her mother, a journalist, had walked out of the marriage, leaving her father deeply bitter and resentful. Although the father funded the household expenses, he constantly complained that the children loved their mother more than him. He would return home late, intoxicated and furious, accusing the family of ignoring his sacrifices. Hearing her mother and sister being verbally abused, the girl would bravely stand up to her father, only for these confrontations to escalate into physical violence. Trapped in this terrifying environment, she frequently contemplated running away, but was paralysed by the fear of social stigma.

Starvation as a weapon of control
The emotional abuse did not stop with her father; her grandmother was equally cruel. Food became a tool of punishment. The grandmother would routinely deny the children food, snapping, "This is my son's money, and you are on your mother's side." The young girl would arrive at school with nothing but plain rice and pickle. Her school principal had previously noticed her intense, almost desperate fixation on food during school outings. It only became clear later that this obsession was the direct result of being systematically starved at home.

The cycle of maternal aggression
Compounding the trauma, the mother also subjected the children to physical abuse. Buckling under severe financial distress and mental pressure, the mother vented her frustrations directly on her children. She would beat them brutally with sticks for minor mistakes. Although her siblings bore the brunt of this violence because she was younger at the time, the memories of this maternal aggression left a deep, psychological wound.

The long road to healing
Despite surviving years of severe trauma, the girl was slowly showing signs of academic improvement through regular counselling. Yet, the emotional scars ran incredibly deep. She suffered from a severe lack of self-confidence and felt completely isolated, as her siblings had withdrawn into their own lives to cope.

She struggled to build friendships, constantly paranoid that her peers were gossiping about her or using her. However, she has formed a secure, trusting bond with her counsellor, often asking, "Can you just stay with me forever?"

It is entirely natural for a child who has faced systemic abuse and neglect from every adult in her life to carry such profound insecurities. Through consistent emotional support and guidance, she is slowly learning to stand on her own feet. Her journey is a stark reminder of how desperately these vulnerable children need a watchful, caring community. Let us hope and work towards a safer, brighter future for her and others like her.