Madonna Sebastian is learning about 'fawning,' the fourth trauma response: What it's about

Actress Madonna Sebastian, who shot to fame with the Nivin Pauly film Premam, has always been an avid reader. In a recent interview with journalist Dhanya Varma, Madonna revealed that currently, she is learning about 'fawning.' In psychology, it is a term that refers to people-pleasing behaviour to survive trauma or abuse. In the interview, Madonna says that she has gone through abuse herself, but never likes to blame anyone. "Identifying abuse takes time. But once you do it, you know the demon you are dealing with," she says. 

What is fawning?
Renowned author and psychotherapist Pete Walker, who is a trauma survivor himself, is known for the 4Fs, which are responses to trauma - fight, flight, freeze or fawn. When people resort to fawning to survive trauma, they prioritise others' well-being above theirs. They agree to requests and demands automatically as they fear disappointment. They also say 'sorry' frequently, even when they haven't done anything wrong. Those who 'fawn' also resort to self-abandonment, hiding their true personal boundaries, feelings and opinions. It is a dangerous tactic because over time,  people who are into fawning will stop recognising their own needs and get disconnected from their sensations and emotions. 

What does fawning look like
According to the renowned nonprofit CPTSD Foundation (Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Foundation), which works on advocating for PTSD survivors, this is what 'fawning' looks like in real life:
a) They find it tough to identify their own needs
b) Difficulty setting boundaries
c) Extreme approval-seeking behaviour
d) Focus on avoiding conflict
e) Abusing the word 'sorry' with unnecessary usage
f) They worry excessively over others' emotions

How to recover from fawn responses
Once a pattern is recognised, approach credible experts and psychologists for doable strategies. A few of the advised tips include:
a) Breathwork, yoga and similar somatic practices for nervous system regulation
b) How to handle discomfort of healthy conflict
c) Recognise one's own needs, preferences and limits
d) Understanding that self-worth is not earned through sacrifice or service. It is intrinsic.