Ever met people scared of relationships, sex, and marriage? Expert explains causes, symptoms, treatment

It is said that marriages are made in heaven! However, did you know that millions of people tremble with fear at the thought of getting married? 28-year-old Rekha is one of them. She grew up watching the terrible fights between her parents and how unhappy they had been. In her mind, marriage is not something that promises love and happiness, but causes bitterness and distress. Marriage, for her, was a symbol of nasty fights, anger and dissatisfaction. So, she would always get anxious when someone asked her about marriage or suggested that she get married. Attitudes towards marriage have changed drastically among youngsters, especially women. Most women believe that they would lose their freedom once they get married. This intense, persistent fear of marriage or long–term commitment is called gamophobia. 

Aneesh had faced unpleasant experiences from some of his female classmates during his college days. After that, he feels anxious and tense whenever he speaks to women. He becomes uncomfortable and distressed when in the company of women. His friends mock him, saying he is scared to talk to women or engage in conversation with them. Aneesh, meanwhile, admits this is why he is still single. Gynophobia is the intense fear of women or instances that involve the presence of women. Mental health experts identify both gamophobia and gynophobia as mental health issues based on anxiety. 

What is gamophobia
Gamophobia is an intense fear of marriage or long–term relationships. People with gamophobia may feel strong, irrational fear, anxiety, panic or distress when thinking about getting married or entering a serious relationship. Like all other phobias, gamophobia is also based on anxiety issues. 

Symptoms of gamophobia
Anxiety or panic at the idea of marriage or commitment, avoiding long–term relationships, raised heartbeats, breathlessness, sweating, dizziness and vomiting when thinking about marriage are some of the symptoms of gamophobia. It would be difficult for them to form intimate relationships even though they desire companionship. They feel incredibly anxious in relationships and constantly worry about breaking up. They might even feel uneasy when they see a couple who face the challenges happily with confidence. 

Causes for gamophobia
Studies attribute various reasons for gamophobia, including past emotional trauma or toxic relations, fear of divorce, fear of responsibilities, lack of confidence, fear of loss of control and fear of rejection. Growing up watching failed marriages of parents and or trauma from past relationships, too, may cause gamophobia. For instance, 28-year-old Rekha has gamophobia because she grew up watching the unhappy marriage of her parents. So, family background is a significant reason why people experience gamophobia. 

Other phobias related to gamophobia
Most people who fear commitment may have more than one phobia. Some of them are:
Philophobia is the irrational and intense fear of love or emotional attachment. 
Pistanthrophobia is the fear of trusting others, especially in close or romantic relationships. People with this phobia often expect betrayal or emotional harm from a loved one. Meanwhile, genophobia is the intense fear of sexual intercourse or sexual intimacy.

What is gynophobia?
Gynophobia is the intense and irrational fear of women. While it is closely related to men, people of any gender could have gynophobia. They feel anxiety and panic around women and are extremely uncomfortable during interactions with women. Past traumatic experiences involving women, abuse and social conditioning are some of the possible causes of gynophobia. 

Here's how to overcome these phobias?
Both gamophobia and gynophobia are treatable conditions with professional help, therapy and sometimes medication. It is possible to reduce your fears and nurture healthier relationships by seeking professional help. 

Ways to overcome these phobias
Therapy
Cognitive–Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Exposure Therapy and Psycho Therapy are some of the effective therapies to identify the root causes of fear, change the negative ideas about marriage and women and also to allay fears about them. Moreover, these therapies help to develop positive coping mechanisms that build stronger relationships. 

Communication
1)Opening up to your partner about your fear and anxiety regarding marriage will nurture mutual trust and understanding. 
2) Taking small and gradual steps towards healing will reduce your anxiety and fear about marriage. 
3)Self-learning will help you have a better understanding of your condition and develop techniques to fight negative thoughts.
4)Try to challenge or repudiate your fears about marriage with its positive aspects using examples.
5)Relaxation techniques like deep breathing and meditation help you reduce anxiety and face your fears. 

6)Cognitive–Behavioural Therapy is an effective treatment against phobias. 
7)Exposure Therapy is a psychological treatment that gradually exposes people to situations involving women. 
8) Support groups would be helpful for people with gynophobia to share their fears and anxiety. They receive support from these groups to overcome their fears. 

Points to note
Do not expect to get rid of your fears overnight. It is important to achieve small yet significant milestones rather than rushing things. Moreover, try to celebrate your development, as overcoming a phobia takes time and effort. You may experience setbacks and failures on your journey to recovery, but you can overcome them with patience and perseverance. Do not hesitate to seek professional help if gamophobia causes problems in your life. No one is born with a fear of marriage; rather, it is caused by external or social factors. It is possible to overcome both gamophobia and gynophobia and lead a happy and fulfilling life with proper support and help. You could address your fears with the help of a mental health professional. Gradually, you will be able to enjoy a stable and fulfilling long-term relationship. 
(The writer is a child, adolescent and relationship councillor.)