Sophia Grace Joy, a 25-year-old Kochi-based psychologist, plans to get married in her thirties. She admits that when she was younger, she thought 25 was the ideal age for marriage.

“It has now shifted towards 30. It’s important for me to find someone who matches me intellectually, politically and emotionally,” she said.

Sophia represents the band of Kerala women who believe marriage is no longer something that needs to be checked off in their early twenties and they don’t mind waiting.

Marriage least of priorities
An Onmanorama analysis of Sample Registration System (SRS) statistical reports published by the Office of the Registrar General and Census Commissioner between 2014 and 2024 shows the mean age of marriage for women in Kerala has gone up from 23.8 to 24.5.

On average, women in the country get married at the age of 23, according to the latest 2024 SRS report published in 2026. Kerala, along with Punjab and Himachal Pradesh, are the only states with an average marriage age for women higher than 24. Over 20% of women in Kerala are unmarried, according to the 2024 report.

Although official data puts the mean age of marriage at 24.5, matrimonial experts and stakeholders said that the age bar is going further up.

“It’s mostly 26 or even 27. We are not encouraging young marriages. Marriage is no longer treated like a personal milestone. Women prioritise marriages, but they do it on their own terms. Earlier, a match with family background was sufficient; now parameters have changed. A woman’s profession is of utmost focus,” said Smitha Vasudevan, Senior General Manager, M4Marry, a leading matrimonial site.

Smitha said parents are extremely proud of their daughters’ achievements and look for someone closer in their locality so that the need for relocation is avoided. “Women are achievers, so they don’t need marriage as a sign of validation,” said Smitha.

A family’s changing priorities and perspective deeply influence women’s decisions on marriage. Gayathri Ravindrababu, a 25-year-old Kottayam native pursuing a master’s degree in France, said her priorities have been clear from a young age. “Both my sisters married after they became settled in life, so that was my plan by default,” she said.

While she wants to get married, she needs a partner whose goals align with hers. “I do want to get married, but it has to be with someone whose plans complement mine. I am on my dream path, and I don’t think I should have to compromise for marriage,” she said. “My family set the precedent that I should prioritise my personal growth.”

It’s okay to be unmarried
The decadal data shows clear transition patterns in Kerala. Women are marrying late and there is an increasing percentage of never-married women in Kerala.

The share of never-married women rose from 15.7% (2014) to 20.4% (2024) — up by 4.7 percentage points. Most of the spike happened between 2014 and 2018, and from then onwards, the share of unmarried women hovered around 20%.

While a growing number of Kerala women chose to be unmarried, Kerala has the lowest percentage of never-married women at 20.4% among the states/UTs in the country. Unlike most states, Kerala’s percentage of unmarried women in rural areas is marginally higher than the urban part.

Gender studies experts say that besides factors like education and professional aspirations, other factors govern the choice to remain unmarried.

Layana Aanand (Head), Assistant Professor, Department of Women's Studies, University of Calicut, said that while women focus on their careers and are economically independent, there is a higher level of consciousness about the social ambience, which strongly determines matrimonial decisions.

“The current social ambience doesn’t suit women’s needs and requirements. If a woman gets married, obligations like caring for family and other familial responsibilities still rest with women. Even with all the strides women have made in accessing education and attaining career goals, sharing of responsibility is still a huge issue. Young women are aware of this and they don’t want to risk their career and sacrifice dreams,” said Layana.

According to her, the present choices of putting off marriage align with the new women concept: the partnership has to be democratic and women are not ready for compromise. This also opens up inter-caste or inter-religious alliances.

Relationships & migration
Young women, though decisive about marriage, are not averse to relationships, which also helps them with judgement. “Most women I know have already been in relationships by the time they hit their mid-twenties. So we already have past experiences that define our expectations, unlike our mothers, who knew very little about it when they got married. These experiences help women make more informed judgments about potential partners and assess compatibility more carefully,” said Sophia.

Recent trends in migration also attest to the fact that marriage is the least of Kerala women’s priorities.

A report ‘Kerala Girl Student Migration Study,’ published by the Centre for Public Policy Research, shows that 74% of students going abroad are females, suggesting an increasing trend of female academic mobility.

“This reflects greater parental support, changing gender norms, and growing awareness of educational and professional opportunities for women abroad,” the report points out.

Mini Sukumar, gender studies expert and a former member of the Kerala State Planning Board, said delayed marriage among women is a positive indicator.

“Education and exposure have resulted in new opportunities. Women’s present choice on marriage is a strong indicator of their autonomy. They are also conscious about adverse factors like abuse and forced career breaks that happen in bad marriages. If they delay getting married, it is also a way of forcing a change in the patriarchal society,” said Mini Sukumar.