Noted artist and motivator Fathima Hakkim addressed the students of L.B.S. College of Engineering in Kasaragod recently. The event was the latest in the newly launched series of motivational talks organised by Stories Revolutionary at the college. In a freewheeling chat here, the youth icon gives a glimpse into her evolution as a self-taught painter and offers tips for aspiring painters. Moreover, she has something interesting to tell girls dreaming about their wedding!
Tell us about your artworks. You started with wall painting?
No, I started with chart papers. Those charts cost Rs 3 and I'd use watercolor. The paper was very thin so it would go all wrinkly when I paint. Since my parents weren't very supportive back then, I couldn't ask them for materials. I had to make do. But the advantage is that, now I can work on any material. I learnt it all by myself. If somebody teaches you their ways, no matter how original you are, their influence would reflect on your works. You works will only have your own influence if you have not learnt from anyone. Looking back, my parents not buying me the right materials and not enrolling me in an art class have worked very well in my favour. There was no YouTube or any reference for me, and I don't refer to tutorials even now. I believe in making errors and learning from them, experimenting by myself.
Most of the artists refer to YouTube and other sources these days, what do you say about that?
I am not against it. That is also a good way to learn. I mean, painting with acrylic is not like oil painting; you need to have basic knowledge about the colours – oil, you need to use linseed oil, you need to use water in watercolors and you need to know how long it takes for acrylic to dry. But I still say – you shouldn't blindly follow an artist. Don't use the same techniques, don't copy their works. Explore. That's why we have a unique brain.
I have tried to draw by myself that way, but I just can't bring myself to draw something from imagination. I always need a reference.
What I do in my workshop is, I try to make them (aspiring painters) imagine. I give them a canvas and I’ll ask a musician to come over and he’ll play some amazing music. It's kind of a meditation; it's like a therapy – you have to open your mind.
Then I sit next to them and hold their hand. I'll say 'You're my kid,' they'll be far older than me sometimes, 45 years and above, but at the time, they're all my children when they sit to learn. I'll tell them, "Remember how you used to draw as a kid, sitting on the floor? There’s no judgment! Don’t ever compare my work to your work; you’re just starting now." And then I give them colours and ask them to paint as if they were a child. So they’ll take the colours and smear it all over. It's really fun – it's a beautiful process. After that, they'll have something in front of them. Sometimes a bluish yellow sky, or something else.
And then I tell them – "Imagine you’re seeing it in front of your eyes. It's a wide-spanning canvas. What do you want there?" Then their imagination starts working. Some will say, okay, I need a cityscape there. Some will say they need hot air balloons or some others will say lighthouses. That's when their imagination starts. Somewhere in their memory, they'll have an image of a lighthouse or city stored, so their brain starts working. I sit down next to them and make sure I'm with them throughout the process. I think with the right kind of words, the right ambience and the right people, you can make magic. Because, the people who come to my workshops, most of them beginners – they paint even better than me. And I'm like "You are a threat to me!" (Laughs)
I only started following your page recently, and I've noticed that you follow a certain theme. Like firstly it was mostly various shades of sky and then it was weeping girls and recently you started using Black Women a lot in your paintings without explicitly mentioning them...
See, only for talk shows and all, I socialise a lot, but otherwise I’m quite and usually stay by myself. So my close friends, when they want to check on me, they check my paintings – my paintings are like a mood tracker. And nowadays, I find black women and men extremely gorgeous. They just look so handsome and beautiful!
One thing, I want to break the stereotypes. Lots of people paint the same skinny, white people. I wanted to change that. It wasn't intentional but I've grown to love them. I don’t explicitly mention them because I don't want to put the idea right into their head; I lead them through it with my paintings.
What do your parents have to say now? Or how do you feel about yourself in the present?
Now my parents are like, "Fathima, we're really glad you didn't listen to us that day!" People who are older to us may mean well with their advices, but nobody knows ourselves better than us. We know what we want and we know how to get it. But back then, for me, it was like "Okay Fathima, leave your home, take your paintings and go to Calicut, exhibit it, start a life!" Thinking about it now – it was an absurd idea! But… I… I somehow did it. How I summoned up the bravery that day; I still don't have a clue. I was very emotional at the time. I saw a lot of girls, who were denied the right to learn, who were denied the right to choose their own partners. Most of the girls were not even considered as a human being! The biggest thing, though, on a wedding day, people say 'Her big day.' That is NOT her big day. Her big day is when she goes on a road trip for the first time, and she rides a vehicle, or she eats a full cake or she moves to an apartment on her own or when she finds the love of her life, her first kiss. These are her big days, not her marriage day.
And you need to celebrate a lot of other things. The first time I moved to a 2BHK by myself and I brought my first fridge. My friend wanted to buy a cake and celebrate it. She was like, "Here Fathima, this is your first fridge! Let's cut a cake and celebrate woohoo!" (Giggles)
You deserve that! You deserve that happiness!
So what is your take on marriage and the whole 'settling down' business?
Marriage is important, people are important, relationships are important. But there are other things that are equally important – education, travelling, self-care and respect – these are all highly important. Moreover you should celebrate yourself. Each of you are amazing human beings. It is when you don't do these things that you turn out to be rude, you start bullying people. Only if you celebrate yourself, you'll be able to appreciate other people. I celebrate myself every day. There are rough days, sure, I have depression so there are very difficult days, but you deserve the happiness in each of them.
That is very inspiring. But there are still many people, still many girls who think there is no life beyond the four walls of their houses...
It's all for them. You were my courage back then. Many of them told me about it. When someone among them has walked through the path to success, naturally they’ll feel like they have a target, a motivation, or a person to follow. Not everyone will have that courage, I understand. But there are some people; if we give them a slight push, they’ll reach it. I wanted to be that push. I didn’t give up, I still don’t give up. There are a lot of reasons if I want to give up still (Still?) Yeah, still, but no, I want to persevere.
What do you think about dyslexic people and the bullying they face? How about facing the bullies that come with your fame?
Dyslexia is different in different people. I know a boy; he had no sense of directions. Like, when we move on through a path and a turn comes, we know when to turn. But this child, he can't figure it out, so he’ll just walk and hit his head on the wall. It's not just about dyslexia. Their bullying is the worst. Searching for a weakness or a minority and then just destroy them!
I face a lot of online bullying still. There's a group of people claiming I'm a drug addict. I don’t even drink tea. I sit and laugh at the stories they create about me. There was this guy I met. He was like, 'Fathima you paint on drugs, don't you?' Because in my paintings, there are bright psychedelic colours. So apparently, people see these visuals when they use some chemicals and stuff. So they imagine that I use all of them. Alhamdulillah, I have a different brain!
Fortunately my parents are very trusting. Not all people will have the same support. Some people will hear these rumours about themselves and just go into depression. Why do we have to do that to people? Be kind to everyone! Why is it so hard? I have amazing friends and my parents are really supportive. Just ignore them because you know yourself better than them. Imagine your friend who is going through a tough time. You’ll be there for her, right? So why can't you be there for yourself? If we love our self even half of how we love others, you'll never be worried about bullies. Don’t ignore ourselves. Don’t think about how others did anything, you should do what you want to do, the way you want to do them.
We have this distinctive brain and this huge blessing of a properly functioning body because we are a totally different person. It is not necessary that we should make it big. Find happiness in the smallest of things. Your peace of mind is the most valuable thing.
What are your other interests besides painting?
I love to travel. I love to ride my bullet and go for a morning ride. And I love to sing. I play the ukulele. Oh, and yeah I meditate a lot.
Anyway, that was fun. Once again, I have to tell you this – your paintings are amazing! How do you feel about that?
If we feel in our mind that we are something else, or that we are superior to everyone else, then that’s it. It’s the end of the quality of what makes somebody human. Always I feel like my paintings are not completely my own. After one point, it just happens on its own. I never feel like it’s me doing them, there are some external forces; I feel Almighty's presence heavily while painting. Sometimes I feel like I can't take credit for them. Frankly speaking, when people say your paintings are amazing, I feel glad inside, but it's not an overwhelming happiness; I feel like it is not mine to take credit for. Thank you either way.
We share some random talk and I stare dumbstruck when Fathima points to a car and explains about how she sees auras, colours and the way it reflects off the nearest object. She also tells me how I give her a 'pastel' vibe.
"The mind of an artist," I say in awe.
"Yup, welcome to my messed up brain," She replies with a laugh.
Throughout the chat, Fathima was all smiles, waving to anybody who looked our way, very upfront and willing to take selfies with her fans. Her humble and charming nature puts the others around her at ease. After my friend and I click a picture with her, before parting, Fathima hugs me tight. "It was good to meet you," she says. "Oh, and always hug more, okay? Hugs can do magic."
(I am highly grateful to the College Union, Ulsaha Committee of Stories Revolutionary, Union members Ebrahim Hawaz and Lazima, for making this interview possible. And many thanks to Fathima Hakkim for your valuable time!)