It was indeed a defining moment for Kerala when a transgender contestant took the stage in a TV reality show recently, as it could arguably be a first for the State.
When D4 Dance introduced a transgender in the reality show, many stars like Khushboo and Varun Dhawan applauded the initiative taken by team.
Jazz D’Souza, a Malayali transgender based in Mumbai, has returned to win the hearts of the audience in her home State by showcasing her dancing prowess in D3, the third season of D 4 Dance, a dance reality show currently being aired on Mazhavil Manorama.
Jazz, who migrated to Mumbai some years ago in a bid to hone her stage skills, speaks to Onmanorama about her struggles and emotional journey.
The transformation
My original name was something else and I don’t want to reveal it. I had decided long back that if I were to undergo a sexual reassignment surgery, I would change my name to Jazz. As planned, I underwent the operation two years ago. It has definitely been the toughest battle of my life. I was under complete bed rest for several months. It was a difficult phase, but I’m absolutely happy now, because I used to be a loner and an unwanted person. During my school days, children used to make fun of my feminine behaviour and mannerisms.
Dreams unlimited
My ultimate dream is to become an actress. I know I can never be a heroine, but I am looking forward to do some good character-driven roles. I was deeply touched and my eyes welled up with tears of joy when Shobana madam (dancer-actor Shobana) asked me whether I’m interested in acting. Now, I am waiting for the right chance to get into films. Sharing the stage with Shobana madam in D 3 was like a dream come true moment for me.
My family
I ran away from home so that my parents and sibling would not have to live with the ignominy of having a transgender person in the family. I have been living in Mumbai for the past seven years. I have a younger sister. She should not remain a spinster all her life because of me. I know that for my parents, it is difficult to accept that their child is transgender. I don’t understand why it is so hard for them to understand my feelings. There are parents who take utmost care of children who are so disabled. Then what is the justification for this unfair treatment being meted out to people like me?
The D3 experience
I was born and brought up in Kerala. I was desperately looking for opportunities in South India to showcase my creative skills when the producers of D3 contacted me. That is how I registered for the audition. The programme gave me the perfect platform to showcase my talents. I have not learnt classical dance. I learnt to dance by watching television and shows. As I cannot afford a choreographer, the producers have arranged groomer. To be honest, I am nervous because all the participants are extremely talented.
Bricks and bouquets
My cousins had called me after watching my performance. But my parents were not very happy. I was called crazy and they asked me to live with dignity. However, I’m overwhelmed by the love and support extended by the other participants as well as the entire D3 team. A few days ago when I was travelling in an autorickshaw, the driver told me that his wife and children love to watch me dancing.
Marriage plans
I wish to get married. I’m hoping to find a suitable person. Divorce has become a common thing in our society. I want to be an ideal wife and I want to marry someone who is looking for a good, well-mannered partner. I also wish to adopt a child.
