Representative imageA teacher is enraged by an act of indiscipline. She admonishes the student publicly. Unable to bear the insult, the student commits suicide. The student was not ready to share his grief with his parents. Perhaps he was dreading an even more insulting experience at home.
If children choose the path of self destruction in times of crisis, that is a reflection of certain social conditions including the lack of a support system. A faulty system of teaching is also to blame.
Let us look at another scenario. The teacher detects that something is amiss in the student’s behavior. She, however, chooses to ignore it. The student slides into more troubles in the absence of proper guidance. The teacher is to be blamed in this scenario as well. She will be pulled up for not correcting the student in time and not informing his parents.
Where lies the solution? We have to analyze the tone of the teacher’s admonition which was nothing but an echo of the usual practice built on a demeaning comparison with other students that only leads to an erosion in self-respect.
These methods are still rampant in our houses and schools. Many of us are convinced that students could be corrected by such coercion methods. They are blind to the possibility of students losing all self-esteem and diving deep into depression. Insulting children in front of others is no way of reforming them. You have to respect their privacy and earn their trust before you try to counsel them.
Teachers should share any news about the children with their guardians only to ensure their participation in solving any problem. We have no dearth of teachers who summon guardians to subject them to a litany of the child’s behavior. The parents, in turn, will pass on the insult to the child. And we call it correction. Teachers and parents may be trying hard. But they fail miserably.
Corporal punishment was an integral part of education in olden times. Even I have been beaten up so many times. But that never left a scar because the teachers were also encouraging and caring. They would tell us why we were being punished. They could use punishment as a tool to lead us to virtue. Are such teachers on the wane?
When teaching becomes a tool to stress authority and vent anger, it is difficult to match deeds with words. The language of the teacher would turn obscene. He would be provoked further if the teenager reacts instinctively. What follows is an attempt to hurt and nothing else. There are many parents who acts in this way. Punishments do not serve any purpose unless the child is made aware of his mistake.
Children will turn secretive if they are convinced that parents and teachers were out to accuse them without hearing them. If you cannot create an atmosphere of love and trust, you are causing the children to clam up. The children turn to dangerous methods when they are not assured of a place to present their case.
A good teacher cannot confine himself to lecturing on the curriculum. Findings of a research done among students were telling: Teachers with patience and a mindset to recognize students were more revered. They should be impartial, objective and just. They should be able to accommodate the fickle teenage mind and lead them on the right path. He should be a model of good habits. They should be able to identify the students’ talents and nurture them. They should be able to bail out students when they land in trouble, without violating their privacy.
All these, incidentally, are applicable to good parenting too.
Times are changing. Teachers are supposed be co-parents. They should work together with parents in guiding the students, instead of placing the blame on the parents. Because we are going through hard times, where our children are facing major challenges.
(The writer is a mental health expert.)
