I’m sure there are a few highly egoistic students in every single class in the whole world. And these few people are different or let’s say uniquely egoistic. There are those who make fun of everything you say and make you feel really stupid. Then there are those who make up a fake accent whenever they are told to talk about something or rather, grab every damn opportunity even before it comes their way. And the third category specifically might be the most irritating kind of egoistic for you; those who ignore you to the core, as if you’re not important at all, as if you’re not worth their time. So let me clear this up for you. They are not egoistic. You might then ask me; why would someone avoid us if they don’t hate us or if they don’t consider themselves as superior? Well, perhaps they are just shy. Or introverted. Or both. Perhaps they are a shy introvert. Yep, that’s a word, a psychological term introduced by a great psychologist. She’s a writer, a cat lover who cuddles cats with cute words… Only. And I’m no psychologist.
I know, shyness and introversion don’t come together at all. Cause shyness is fear of social situations. i.e., you would do anything to get away from social situation even if that means pretending you are having a seizure or a cardiac arrest. Nah, that’s not true. I was just exaggerating. But you would definitely try your best to get away cause you are too damn nervous and uncomfortable.
But the case of an introvert is different. An introvert is those who love being alone and spending time alone. So if you are an introvert you too would try to avoid social situations like parties and stuff but not because you are afraid. It is cause you’d rather stay at home and have a party alone than have a party with a bunch of people. Introversion could be okay and shyness not.
Shy people avoid social situations because they are scared. And fear is something that you have to overcome like fear of cockroaches or dark rooms or complex mathematical sums, as in my case (I’m glad I took arts).
But introverts are not scared, they just love spending time alone and reading books or writing or singing or observing or whatever it is that they enjoy. Introversion is often seen as a bad trait. But it’s really not. As Susan Cain said in TED Talks, introverts have to be celebrated. We need more and more introverts in this world.
Now, shy introvert is not a happy blending, or in reality a very unfortunate blending of shyness and introversion. I will explain to you why this is so unfortunate. It’s because you’re in a constant dilemma. You wanna go to a party but you don’t wanna go to a party. You wanna go to this party because you wanna overcome your fear but you don’t wanna go because you really don’t. See, being a shy person or an introverted person itself causes dilemma. Square the dilemmas and you get the amount of dilemma a shy introverted person experiences.
Guys, this is not easy at all. Shy introverts have to constantly face hate and ignorance. This is because they ignore you so you think they hate you, so you hate them. And they don’t talk much. So you ignore them. I now feel like, they have to be provided reservation cause they are a minority community and they face constant discrimination too. But I have no idea how that would work.
I will now give a brief explanation of how they would react in social situations: Say for example, a shy introvert has reached school. Then she would first in the corner of the eye search for people and then properly categorise and label all those who are familiar and those who are unfamiliar as two headings. Under those who are familiar, further subdivision is made.
1. Those who intimidate her
2. Those who does not intimidate her
3. Those with whom she is most comfortable
4. Those with whom she is most uncomfortable
Under 1 and 4, in Italics and full capital, it is labelled ‘AVOID’ .
After this data is properly arranged, the subject enters the compound. Now when she moves towards her classroom, and if she sees out of one corner of the eye, members belonging to group 1 and 4, an alarm starts buzzing and the brain screams ‘code red alert’. The subject then does whatever it takes to avoid the member, involving looking down on the ground, sneezing, rubbing her eyes, rubbing her nose, even falling to the ground pretending to be dead if that’s what it takes.
Psychologists have provided a specific term to the ‘code red alert’ in the brain. It’s called panic attack. The code red alert stops when the member disappears from the corner of her eye, or when a member belonging to 2 or 3 appears, enabling her to rest her eyes there.
So guys, I’ve used a pretty high amount of sarcasm there. You may think, why is it so difficult to give eye contact or smile or talk. Nobody asked you to diffuse a bomb or anything; well, guys for some of them, I mean.. for some of us, it is as difficult as that. Yes I am a shy introvert too and these are my confessions. So for all the shy introverts out there, try to get over your shyness cause it is stopping you from being who you really are and expressing yourself. And own your introversion, cause it’s gonna take you places.. And find out people who you can relate to. Let that be your first step. And don’t be frustrated of being a misfit and…
Listen to the song Misfit by high dive heart cause it’s amazing!
‘don’t stop doing what you’re doing
Cause you’re different
I know people say that you’re a misfit
That’s the thing I like about you’.
Hasta la vista.
(These are my school-day confessions. I’m overcoming it)